Our awards: “Guidoest (?) player of the year”
Posted by Ricky - Sixers4guidos on April 26, 2007
The “Guidoest player of the year” goes, as you all know, to the Sixer that better embodies the characteristics of the italian man. It’s the “macho” player that has the complete package, basically: he’s a stud (…), he’s athletic, he’s handsome, he’s nice, he’s successful with chicks and he makes a lot of money. Kinda like Italy’s finest product, Rocco Siffredi (in the picture, seconds before going to action).
Well, the Guidoest player of the year is Andre Iguodala. No, we didn’t watch him naked (at least not yet) but we somehow guess that the comparison with Rocco is fair enough. As for the other features, we are confident our prize goes to the best candidate. Congratulations Andre.
The Billy King award – brought to you by Scott Layden, and dedicated to the Sixers GM that screws the team the most – pretty surprisingly this year went to… Billy King !!
It was a tough race, won by King only tenths of second before the buzzer, when Sixers4guidos’ staff realized that Isiah Thomas actually runs the show in NY and not in Philly.
Rumors coming from Boston reported Danny Ainge’s strong disappointment for this choice. “I’ve been giving lectures of ‘Dumb management of a professional sports franchise’ for the last 3 years and these idiots in Italy never noticed” he reportedly said to his public relation team, just before trading Al Jefferson to Indiana for Troy Murphy.
The John Salmons award – sponsored by ‘Keith Van Horn’s sissy dunks Ltd.’ and dedicated to the Sixer that you love to hate – this year goes to Willie Green. “I knew Sixers4guidos appreciate me a lot – said Green with an evil smile – , I really worked hard to piss off Sixers fans wordwide, and I am happy to see I did it also overseas”.
The Juicy Face award – offered to you by Randy Ayers and dedicated to the most mediocre Sixers coach – this year goes to… Mo Cheeks (who could have said it?).
Like King, Cheeks won against all odds, but actually locked the prize weeks before the end of the season. In fact, immediately after being sure that the team wouldn’t have made the playoffs, continued to play a 7 men rotation to win games that saved his job and absolutely fucked every chance for the Sixers to draft high in the lottery.
“To be honest with you, it wasn’t easy to reach all my goals: I mean, missing the playoffs, missing a top pick, doing worse than the 38 wins of my already bad first season and at the same time not playing my rookies and making Willie Green our go-to-guy… you gotta give me credit !” he stated while receving the award from former Sixers coach Johnny Davis.
In a night that featured a lot of amazing decisions, the Chris Webber award – named after Chris Webber and dedicated to the player that plays like shit as a Sixer only to become a star in another team – went to… Chris Webber. Now, this is impressive !
Former Sixers Raja Bell and Matt Barnes praised Sixers4guidos choice, while Tyra Banks joined the aforementioned Rocco Siffredi in his hotel room to celebrate Webber’s achievement. She didn’t return several calls by reporters after that.